A Christmas Dream

There I was walking outside my old house on Chappell Road up north when I realized that it was gently snowing. I looked towards the house and it was lit with Christmas lights and the glow fell upon the entire yard and surrounding landscape. My father's rose garden was in full bloom with brilliant yellow and red roses everywhere and their petals fell on the ground giving it a multicolored hue as the snow attempted to cover it all in a carpet of virgin white. I looked towards where the street should be and instead saw a footpath where a Christmas procession was taking place. A parade of townsfolk carrying candles, lights and banners marching by and adding to the festive atmosphere. My heart was bursting with happiness, I hadn't seen anything like this since the Christmases of my youth in New England. I cried out to the neighbor girl in the house to come out quick and bring a camera, we had to take pictures of all this before it evaporated, before it all went away. I tried to take some photos with my camera but missed the opportunity and barely managed to squeeze off one shot after wasting time trying to pose the couple and by then we were inside some department store crudely decorated with Christmas trimmings. Gone was that house in the country, the procession was nowhere to be found and I had precious little to show for it all, not one decent photo. I was left standing there looking around and wondering where it all had gone. I awoke and realized where I was, back in the real world where it wasn't Christmas, and the house and its garden were far away from me now. Filled with disappointment I tried mightily to go back to sleep and make it all happen again, a last ditch attempt to regain Paradise Lost but to no avail.

Of course, none of it made any sense. Roses in bloom during the winter? A department store suddenly materializing? The only thing that made any sense was the emotion and longing that was released. The longing for my family now gone and the desire to take refuge in those long vanished memories. It's an intoxicating and addictive frame of mind that one shouldn't make a habit of. You can't control your dreams but you can control your future. The trick is creating those moments in life that you will dream of later, making life worth living in the here and now. It's alright to dream. It's good to live in the present as well. There's the rub.