New rule for know-it-alls

Have you noticed how while doing this internet discourse that when two dissenting opinions converge the presumptive victor will unveil their haymaker with the word "Um"?

"Um, I hate to tell you this pal but you flush the toilet AFTER you pee-pee." Or words to that effect. The word "Um" presumes to telegraph something that every dolt on the planet knows...except the guy you're arguing with of course. "Um" denotes the point that one should have seen from the beginning, the obvious answer, the solution that even a retarded chimpanzee would have guessed.

So from here on out the previously described use of the word "Um" will be banned. You may not infer your opponent's stupidity using this rhetorical technique unless you send me a check for $159.95. I accept PayPal and Postal Money Orders as well. I have patented this one word put-down so hands off. It's mine mine mine. Go away. And um, your fly is open.