An Act of God

Me and O.J. go back. Way back. No, not that O.J. The one pictured above which me and my friend Grimace annointed as Ostentatious Jesus a mere five years ago. We would gaze in awe at the statue as we made our way to a couple of Reds games on the way to Cincinatti along Interstate-75. We would wonder how anyone in their right mind would think that Christ himself would be so vainglorious to desire an oversize statue to be made of him. But that's not the thrust of this essay although I find the argument pretty interesting. No, I'm more interested in why O.J. (Ostentatious Jesus) was struck by lightning and burned to the ground last night. Yep. Nothing else in the area was damaged. It's as if God himself unleashed a surgical strike on poor old O.J. All that's left are the skeletal remains of the fiberglass and styrofoam statue.



No my friends, I'm far more interested in the blatantly political ramifications of this rather strange event. See, back in the early 1990's a certain Pat Robertson of the Christian Broadcasting Network reported on the devastating Northridge earthquake in Southern California. He blamed the quake on the fact that more than a few porn films are produced in that area of the San Fernando Valley, indeed, both he and his on-air host smirked at each other as they declared that many porn companies had to shut down immediately. But folks, this was an earthquake. It didn't just shut down the porn industry, it shut down everything. Many people were hurt and suffering because of the devastation. So why was this loon smiling at all the suffering? Merely because a few porn films were shut down? Even though some churches and houses of worship were damaged? I guess it takes a special type to find that kind of silver lining.

But it's times like this when we need Pat Robertson. Yes, the destruction of O.J. could signal the beginning of a long national nightmare and we need Pat to explain how God delivered such a precisely aimed surgical strike on himself while leaving Larry Flynt's porn palace down the street completely unscathed. And I'd hate to be the insurance adjuster on this one. It sure looks like an Act of God to me so would it follow that the legal filing would appear as God v. God? I'm fairly breathless with anticipation.